Green Zeal: renewables and ration packs

Hung parliaments, financial meltdowns, blood on the dance floors and Michael Jackson now long dead and buried. Britain seems doomed, the World can’t have long left and some sort of apocalypse, of the type prophesised by a thousand Hollywood films, is indeed nigh.

Take a look to your left and your right. Chances are, that three-quarters of the people that you see will be dead within the next nine months. It is not likely that you can do much for them, but by following our simple guide below you should be able to save your self.

Get out of the city

Zombies love the city and therefore you should not. Anyone who has travelled the streets of Liverpool will understand what I mean – the streets ring with the howling of the cursed and the smell of decay permeates all shelters.

Stick to the hills and the rural countryside – such places alien today, but the uncivilised farmers who reside their now, will seem like kings of sophistication when compared to a marauding band of starved accountants stampeding through the streets of our cities.

Find some transport and shelter

Mel Gibson had his car and Kevin Costner had his boat. You will need something too – to hold-up in for long periods of time, to keep out outlaws and protect you from the possible large insects and toxic smoke that may be trying to get in.

You will need to use your best judgment to make the decision on where and what form this takes, but this writer will find the sturdiest land-rover-caravan combination he can steal from a pensioner and spend much of the next few years hiding in a barn in the North Yorkshire Moors

Hoard some ration packs

Ration packs will be the most vital piece to this problem – both as sustenance through catastrophe and tradable items to barter and trade during the development of the new world and economy.

Some will tell you that super noodles will do, or that game will be in plenty supply too hunt once the UK population is effectively zero. However, we all know that even the most brutish omnivore could survive on boiled pasta alone. It is likely true that if you are reading this, it is quite unlikely that you ever be able to hunt and gather your own food and water.

See here for the biggest range of ration packs in the country

Get a weapon

The British are not blessed with the freedom to build up private arsenals. This is a sanction which prevents the more disgruntled city workers from gunning down more civilians and ensures that the deer population remains buoyant.

However, when disaster strikes, a sturdy gun will be vital- useful for both protection of self and procurement of others’ food and possessions. If guns and bullets cannot be found, I would suggest a strong cricket bat, a large can of hairspray and a greasy Zippo lighter.

Entertainment

Man will go mad without nourishment of the mind and soul. This may be difficult to find in the post apocalyptic worlds and relics of our former culture will be vital.

A piece of string and a firm grip will provide months of fun and entertainment when mixed with a good imagination. This writer will personally be stowing away a home brew kit mixed and some chilli Tabasco – being wise enough to know that there is only a very thin line between pleasure and pain.

Posted in Army ration packs | | No Comments »