Energy saving light bulbs arguably offer too much. Their light is softer, more pervasive and even cheaper. They do not die – a fact which is possibly the most wounding to the cynical shopper.

One of earliest memories is of a hideous light shade which used to adorn the fitting in my grandmother’s living room. Is it a uniquely British or Indian trait to decorate a house with such tat? Probably neither – it is more likely a habit which comes with age, at the same time the idea of God becomes plausible, the monarchy becomes necessary and beige becomes beautiful.

The lamp shade is now even less necessary than it has been. It will soon be a relic. Soon “Energy efficient light bulbs” will simply be called “light bulbs” and children will not remember the blue and red blind spots burning onto their retinas, as the lights were switched on a darkened evening

From Tuesday, incandescent light bulbs were being phased out through stores across the land. Sad days for us all

How does the energy saving light bulbs fit into this? Tenuously, is probably the answer – but you may be the judge of this.

The set of needs are as follows (although not necessarily in this order):
1. Food / water
2. Social influence
3. Sex
4. Sleep
5. Drugs

There are many other desires / needs that we squeeze into these categories – for example we assume the need to accumulate wealth is done in order to eventually increase social influence, and love is only desired in order for sex.

Many people will disagree with all of the above.

Energy saving light bulbs is a tricky requirement to categorise. Bought mainly by those wishing to see green, they arguably fulfil the need for social improvement and influence. We think not. We think that these bulbs are comparable to the need for drugs – the need for the physical or emotional high in the short-term.

The energy saving light bulb is the heroin of the lighting world. It provides a short-term emotional and moral high on the first hit or install. However, once the whole house is complete, the drab haze becomes a confused constant.

The safety standards in Chinese factories are often quite bad – particularly those that produce energy saving light bulbs. Contamination from the mercury vapour used in these bulbs has caused the death of over 1 million proletarian workers over the past six years.

An increased appetite for energy saving light bulbs from the West is only set to make this issue worse. The addiction to energy saving light bulbs, lower carbon emissions and moral superiority is predicted to increases supply by 600% over the next year. This in-turn is expected to increase employment by 10m, in the energy saving light bulb industry.

In 2007, in a single factory employing 123 people, a 121 were diagnosed as having dangerously high levels for mercury in their blood. Extrapolating these figures – we should expect over 9.5million cases of mercury poisoning over the next year. From our calculations this will result in over 4 million deaths, in China due to the production of energy saving light bulbs.

Although Green Zeal largely supports the increased production and proliferation of the energy saving light bulbs, we have deep concerns over the number of Chinese deaths which will be the inevitable result of the increased demand for these bulbs.

We therefore suggest that production of these bulbs should be moved to Scotland and Wales. By a reduction in the minimum wage in these areas and the development of energy saving lig bulb hubs, we can expect reduction in carbon emissions, improvements in UK balance of payments (due to increased exports) and tangential social improvements, due to population reductions in Scotland and Wales.

And Christmas is well know for its fancy light decorations and beautiful, colourful lamps. As a new change to the event, more number of cities have realised that it is a better and smarter way to use safer, greener, more effective LED energy saving light bulbs.
It is believed that all the Christmas trees from Rockefeller centre all the way till Cincinnati’s Fountain Square will be decorated with LED lights, including the holiday displays on the streets.
LED lights are efficient and better than that of the other incandescent lights. Light Emitting Diodes, better known as LEDs run much cooler and consumes only about one-fourth of electricity as compared to incandescent lights. Even though LED energy saving light bulbs maybe a little higher priced, it really pays back by reducing the electricity consumed by them.

Therefore we thought that this article should be created in order to clear up some of the misunderstandings. The major misunderstand was of course that energy inefficient light bulbs were being banned at all, as the scheme is actually voluntary along the following lines:

• January 2008 retailers ceased to restock GLS lamps 150W and above.
• By January 2009 retailers ceased to restock GLS lamps 100W and above.
• By January 2010 retailers will cease restock GLS lamps 60W and above.
• By January 2011 retailers will cease restock. all remaining GLS lamps and 60W candle and golfball lamps (which will render most light fitting obsolete)
• By 31st December 2011 retailers will cease to sell and GLS lamps, 60W candle or golfball lamps. 

Therefore on one hand this should encourage more households across the UK to take up energy saving light bulbs and fittings. However, this will probably result in a large conversion cost and no-one (in this office) is quite sure where the required cash will come from. On the other hand, my forward contracts look like quite a good idea at this point

How many bulbs do you have in your home? In our offices we counted over 50 bulbs which we reckon saves around £120 per year – or up to £1,000 over the bulb lifespan.

Now we know that these energy saving light bulbs are more expensive than ordinary bulbs – however the average £1 extra per bulb should be recouped in the first year of operation (and we have to allow for someway for the poor light bulb producers to make up for their reductions in revenue)

Energy saving light bulbs will use up to a quarter less energy than your standard – this means that your 100 watt single bulbs will be saving you up to 20watts as soon as it is operational.