Green Zeal: renewables and ration packs

In a basement in deepest north London, in the dark, late in the evening, we found ourselves with some of the top energy saving light experimentalist in the UK. The technology used in the laboratory is some of the most advanced in the world – combining cutting edge of holographic, chemical and computation sciences to produce new forms of energy saving light.

Their goals in this case are not purely environmental. They are tasked to with producing new forms of weaponry for modern forms of warfare. Using similar techniques to those used for producing energy saving light bulbs, they are learning how to translate low power sources into high impact cutting devices.

These devices rely on intense forms of heat and light to burn through solid materials and superheat liquids. The efficiency of these devices based on energy saving light products is up to 80% – simply this means that a single AA battery can boil over a thousand litres of water.

The chemical mixtures used to produce these beams are the same used in the development of energy saving light. Combined in alloy cases with over ten times the transparency of glass, reduce the energy loss through the filament and the target substance.

These cases have been produced in a number of shapes ideal for industrial and military purposes. Low powered cutting devices have already been used to cut through soft wood and thin sheets of metal. Increasing the energy input to these devices should see these “sabres” able to burn and metal through thin sheets of steel or titanium. Further efficiencies and increase power sources should see a further strengthening of these light beams.

This is an example of how experimental and production techniques used to in the production of energy saving light have further applications outside the home.

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Energy saving light is not all about reducing your use of electricity usage. Many years ago, energy saving light was the replacement of fireplaces and gas lamps with the ‘lecky bulb and indeed the increased usage of electricity was an important part of environmental improvements.

However, I would like to address the subject human energy conservation – after all, the phrase “energy saving light” is very ambiguous over which form of energy is of concern, and the ingested calorie is a hard fought prize.

I am therefore dedicating this article to the “clapper”. For those of you thinking otherwise, this is the device which allows light to be switched on in the home, without the need of tiresome stretching, walking or standing. Indeed the resultant rays beaming from your bulb (energy efficient or not) is the truest form of energy saving light that man has invented.

The Google Search for “clap light switch” brings up the less than delightful Maplin website with a whole assortment of [human] energy saving light fittings – the clap switch being only a highlight of infrared, motion controlled and other human energy saving devices.

Each has a lovely caption embedded stating how appropriate they are for the elderly and infirm. I think this somewhat misses the point – the human energy saving light fitting being useful for all, as we all should be concerned with the conservation of energy, in whatever form it exists.

The fat should be an example to us all about energy saving light. I once had a chubby friend who could claim to have the lowest electricity bills down is street due to his dual philosophy of low rates of excursion and high rates of energy conservation

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Here in the office we have been in hot debate over the best sources of energy saving light available. Increasingly it seems that the lowly light bulb is being looked on with disdain – its harsh beams anachronistic in these days of soft glowing plasma screens and iPhones. Please see our top 5 energy saving light sources below

1. The Sun – an obvious one we know, but with the advent of global warming, this is a source of energy saving light which we feel will be ever more present. A colleague of mine pointed out “The Sun” is not actually the source, but we should be thanking the nuclear fusion inside The Sun’s core. However, he was ignored as he is an ass
2. The burning of books. Now I know that many readers will be shocked that this source would achieve the lofty position of #2, being both bad for carbon levels, education standards and society in general. We strongly believe however, that if all religious and politically left-leaning documents and publications were burnt for heating and their readers sent to farms and manual work-houses, this could actually reduce the UK’s carbon output by replacing heavy industry with “the human workhorse”. It therefore genuinely deserves the tag of an energy saving light
3. The energy saving light bulb is probably an obvious entry into this list. There is probably little else to say, apart from that the light bulbs are good for the wallet and for the environment
4. The fluorescent tube – although aesthetically unpleasant, a sign of poverty and in some cases annoyingly noisy, that they have provided energy saving light since before my birth, justfies scoring these bad boys number four in our list
5. The LED. The most efficient emitter of energy saving light and available in an assortment of colours apart from white. Propping up this list only because of it’s impracticality for household lighting

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