Green Zeal: renewables and ration packs

Martin lay supine on the sofa, wondering what to do next. He’d attached so much value and anticipation to his shower, and now that it was over, he was back where he’d begun. This damned “smart energy” document that he had to read before the conference call at midnight.

He shifted position, sat upright and rigid-backed. Wearing nothing but a towel in loosely-tied sarong fashion, he looked like a Malian tribesperson at a job interview. Turning on the TV, he was both horrified and amused to find that a programme about smart energy was being broadcast. He stretched his legs, and turned up the volume.

“Smart energy,” the breathy, slightly irksome female presenter said, “Is the most important concept of our generation.”

Yeah, right, thought the shower-fresh but dog-tired Martin.

“Smart energy,” she continued, is, as it’s name suggests, very clever. Smart Energy isn’t just the future, it’s the only means we have of guaranteeing us a future at all. I spoke to Professor James McConnell at the University of Bradford, and expert in the field, to explain more.”

Oh god, Martin thought. It was with James McConnell that he was scheduled for the conference call. He looked different on TV to how he did in real life, not smarter, actually, but more grizzled, rough-looking. Was it just affectation?

“One cannot underestimate the significance of smart energy,” the good professor opined. “Smart energy is the only energy we can afford to invest in.”

Oh, thanks Professor, thought Martin, beginning to regret his failure to moisturise after drying off.

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